I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
