Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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