We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
