ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
