I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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