I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
