I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
