I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize