Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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