I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
