I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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