rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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