y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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