Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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