I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
