It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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