it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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