i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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