I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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