So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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