I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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