i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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