Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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