i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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