Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i think my tv is drunk
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize