so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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