i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Randomize
