I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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