walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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