I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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