You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize