shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
