How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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