Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
