Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She's like a pop up book from hell.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
