I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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