How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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