you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize