Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
