So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
