He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
