If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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