i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
