oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
