i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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