I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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