I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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