I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
now i know why i became what i already was.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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