please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Congratulations! We have a period
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