is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
