Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
