Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
