We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
