this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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