The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
