Having a random hookup so left but love u
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
