he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
