How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize