there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
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I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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