how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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