Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
