I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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