oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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